Shining a Light on Pregnacy Hysteria

So Friday night I officially had my first emotional breakdown.  I was hanging the garland and lights on the banister as Dean was putting lights on the tree.  I looked over and saw the bright, big lights and started crying.  I don't like those lights.  They're too bright and there are holes.  This is not going to work.

I couldn't stop crying.  Dean went to the store to see if he could find white lights and I muttered as tears streamed down my face while he was gone.  When he returned, I almost burst out laughing at the fact I was crying over lights, deep down, I still really didn't like the lights.

Well, we're keeping the lights this year, but next year it'll be something new. 
I'm definitely feeling challenged that I am not able to do as much or enjoy as much this season.  I am so blessed to have a baby be the reason, but I have high expectations of the Christmas season and don't want to miss out on anything.  I keep telling myself this year will look different, but next year there will be a baby looking at our Christmas tree lights.  There will be a baby to put in the front yard in the manger of our nativity...